Nasty Burger

Do not eat at the Burger King on NM 528 in Rio Rancho. They give you the "Mean Burger".
Meaning you will be feeling like you just ate room temperature mayo.
Remember that movie "Waiting?". Yeah, that's the ticket.

Evil Chili

So I've been selected to arrive in the land of the long lasting refried been taste. I really liked the climate. The first thing I noticed that the air was thin. (5,500 ft. above sea level.) Then I notice the dry air. (Dessert) Then I was hit with the chili theme. "Have you ever had green chili?" Of course my answer should be no, but I'm still asked this question about one hundred times. Then was the question about Mexican food. Of course being from Ohio there isn't a huge audience for that type of thing that isn't from a chain restaurant. Fortunately we do have two authentic places, well as authentic as well get in Ohio. So I'm no stranger to Mexican food, not saying that there isn't really great Mexican food out there mind you. I like the places at home, but I don't frequent them much do to the fact that I don’t' like refried beans. Now when I think of Mexican food I think of a bar fights on a plate. Not all Mexican food is like this, but I've noticed that beans can be like that relative that nobody likes. You know he's coming to the party and he's going to make a mess of everything. Touching all the new stuff and making everyone feel like dirt. In fact, beans taste like dirt. Don't ask how I know. You’ve got your little lettuce over to one side of the plate. Lettuce is allowed free reign due to the fact its closely related to the hamburger and has on occasion threaten to strike when confused with cabbage. So lettuce kind of go where it wants. Sour cream on the other hand tends to show stronger then kinda ooze all over your plate dispatching no flavor whatsoever to anything on the plate. Then I'll add that when beans and sour cream come together its like pouring white paint on to dirt. What's the point? I'm describing my first "Authentic" meal in the green chili. Which leads me to the delta force of foods, Chili. Chili is a sneaky little bastard who stakes out your menu and finds his way into just about everything using miscommunication and trickery to make you think that he is notthere. Take this for instance. Now we know the story behind lettuce and sour cream I'll show you a prime example of the "delta force" in action. Before I came to this place there had to be some warning of my arrival. Once my phone lines were tapped chili knew exactly where I was going to be and how to strike. I was with a friend trying to watch the O-State-Florida game when chili first struck me down. We got owned by Florida, again, but before that was all over I order some buffalo wings. Now I have them at home all the time. The sauce is pretty simple. Something hot made with vinegar and jalapeño. What's different this time? Well for one, I couldn’t' taste the vinegar. That's the tangy part of the wings sauce. I'm not and Iron Chef, but I do know that chilies are hot, it’s the seeds and they don’t' really have any taste. So when food has no taste yet is very hot, then it’s a dead give away that you just hit by the sneaky chili. So this wing sauce had no taste but it was HOT!!!!!! I knew right then and there that this was a hit on my tongue. You always know it was the seeds if you drink and you still feel that light coating of oils on your tongue. The rat bastard chili used the innocent chicken wing as an accomplice. Now with that said, I'm looking at a plate with the two before mentioned items on it. Then I notice to my right there are tiny cubed potatoes chilling on my plate. So the steak on my plate says, "Hey, those are potatoes New Mexican style. Try them out I promise they are harmless." I heard a slight chuckle but I couldn't tell who on the plate did it. So I ate the little harmless potatoes and I faintly hear. "Alpha team, Go! Go! Go!", and before knew it my mouth was on fire. then I heard, "Got him again Hoo-Ah!" now the first to feel my wrath was the steak. You would think food likes to be eaten, but I’ve learn that food just kind of likes to hang out and talk. The potatoes instantly began to bargain for their lives knowing full well that I was angry about the California Wild Fire in my mouth raging its havoc on my poor taste buds. I spared the potatoes with the condition that I like Lays potatoes chips. Now during all of this I thought to myself that if this is what I have to look forward to then I’m नॉट going to like New Mexican food. Oh, but just like a catholic priest, the beans have just gotten their dirty hands all over everything. On the lettuce, the sour cream, the steak, the rice, and the potatoes. Just molesting all the better tasting food on the plate. Talk about a dirty Sanchez. Damn beans ruined found a way to get under the rice. Like a nasty missionary it had spread the word of dirt allover the plate. GRRR. "Check Please?!"